Why I Hate You

Let me tell you why I hate you.

Here's a key premise in Katie and my first book, "The Game of God: Recovering Your True Identity:" (a) the source of all fear is the unknown, (b) the source of all hatred is fear. In other words, what we don't know is what we fear and what we fear is what we hate. It is absolutely impossible for us not to fear the unknown and it is equally impossible for us not to hate what we fear. Fear and hate are simply the emotional/psychological expressions of flight/fight.

"Know" is a very big word and, like "love," "God" and "friend," much misunderstood. To "know" means to absolutely know. I once read that Charles Darwin became enamored of using the word "infinite," until he was advised by friends more familiar with the concept that "infinite" is a lot more than a very big number; it is mind-stoppingly powerful medicine.

The only thing I know absolutely is that some sort of experience is occurring. That's it. Everything else is limited by some degree of ignorance. I do not absolutely know that the sun will "rise" tomorrow. I do not absolutely know that I will live another second. And because my ignorance is vast and incessant, so is my fear and so is my hatred.

I grew up not trusting people. I did not know them thus I feared and hated them. I still do (and this means you). Of course I don't know myself either. That's why I fear and hate me too.

My life's work has been to discover what the flying duck is going on here. What is truth? Who are we and what is existence all about? A very important answer that my life-mate Katie and I arrived at is that the human race is universally insane. We define "insanity" as the state of confusing our mind-generated reality with actual reality. Insanity, to put it another way, is convincing ourselves we "know" when the truth is we don't know. Some anorexics starve themselves to death because they "know" they're fat. A more blatant nut case "knows" she's Queen Victoria. The more subtle nut case "knows" he's Arthur B. Hancock. All are delusional.

The antidote is humility: simply being experientially cognizant of our limitations. Humility does not make us weak. It makes us strong. Being in touch with the reality of our vast ignorance--and our insane beliefs that we really know who we are, what we are, where we are, when we are, why we are, what we're doing, where we came from, and where we're going--is to be grounded in the way it is, and opens the door to the possibility of meaningful learning and change.

Even as a child I knew something was wrong with people. It's taken a lifetime but Katie and I have discovered what the problem is: we're all encumbered with an insidious form of insanity. When I'm experiencing the actuality of my madness, and yours, I can reduce the fear and hate and have compassion for us.

Katie and I define "love" as the experience of unconditional acceptance of what is. Face/accept is the lone alternative to flight/fight. Facing our insanity means the end of self-hatred, blame, and arrogance.

Please do yourself a favor and read Katie's "We Are ALL Innocent by Reason of Insanity: The Mechanics of Compassion" and my autobiography, "Exposing Myself: A Life of Sex and Truth."